Category Archives: Beauty
Black people want wash cloths for their hotel rooms. No not a hand towel… no…not a body towel. A WASH CLOTH!
We use them in conjunction with the soap or body wash. We don’t apply the soap directly on the skin, because someone else may be sharing that same bar of soap. (And that is nasty!) So we suds the cloth with soap and water and use the cloth to wash.
Also, the cloth acts as a light exfoliant, which is probably why you always compliment us on the smoothness of our skin. Now you’ve been informed why #blackdontcrack.
I’ve never been to another black persons home where they did not offer me a wash cloth and a full body towel. It is just how we roll. So please do not come back with every kind of towel BUT a wash cloth the next time we ask. I know you have them in your inventory. Because Susan gave me one two days ago. Now why the housekeeper took it and didn’t replace it with another washcloth, is a whole other post.
-Sincerely annoyed hotel guest
Kim Kardashian-West is definitely winning in this assemble. This is the type of attire I want to see her in, the fashion icon that turns heads and inspires women and fashionistas alike. Too often we see her in a midi-skirt and blazer on her way to nowhere important. Not that there is anything wrong with the extra sexy business woman look, but I often doubt that she is actually going to a business meeting or somewhere that would demand that type of attire.
But this look right here! HUN-NEY! If I had that body, I’d wear it in every color! This is a fun daytime look but could easily be worn in the evening with dark wash skinny jeans and nude heels.
We can’t see the top of the back in this photo but I imagine she’s wearing a bra that crosses high in the back. I’m always curious about her undergarments though. She’s blessed to have “balanced” curves. Meaning she’s got back and boobies, but we rarely see her bra-lines or the top of her Spanx.
Now photographers have captured her oops moments in the past where we’ve gotten a glimpse of her Spanx on a windy day. And in this photo, snapped a Teyana Taylor’s album listening party, if you look closely you can see the outline of her bra, but only faintly.
I can’t recall seeing nipples through her clothes. Maybe it’s just me who is actually curious about these things, but whatever secrets she has for camouflaging her underwear in all of her clothes, she needs to sell that. No woman wants to have her lumps and bumps showing or evidence of undergarments that help us get that “snatched” look, so Kim, help us all out and share your secrets girl. She certainly has enough money to get her clothes altered to add “built-ins”. But for us “reg-u-lah” folks, I’m sure she has alternatives that she uses in a time crunch.
Kimmy Kakes is definitely a style-icon but I just love this outfit. She has the perfect figure to make this look amazing. I don’t think there is anyone else that could wear this and have the same impact.
One day last week I stopped at a nearby travel agency. I wanted to see if they could find me a good deal for my upcoming trip to Italy. I walked in and sat down in front of the other available agent as there was a gentleman occupying the other agent’s desk. I explained to the agent what I was looking for.
We chatted briefly before she got up to find a brochure. I smiled at the gentleman sitting who was being helped by the other agent, and said “Hi”. But he turned his head without responding. I started to get indignant because I was frustrated that Germans rarely speak back, after I greet them. I had been told and forewarned about their temperament but thought surely they can’t all be that snobbish to not speak when spoken to. I wanted to say hello to him again in an even louder voice than before just to ensure that he had heard me. Surely he would respond this time.
My agent returned and I ultimately decided to ignore him. He left about 5 minutes later. And I left about 10 minutes later. As I’m crossing the street I see him approaching me on his bicycle. He stops me and asks if I speak German. I replied “ein bisschen” “only a little”. Then he asks if I spoke English, when he clearly heard me speaking English to the travel agent. But I responded positively. So he proceeded to ask me if I had time to talk over coffee.
In my mind I’m thinking “Is this the same guy who just snubbed me 20 minutes ago?” Clearly, I was confused. So I agreed to go to the cafe across the street. As he locked up his bike he begins with the questions…Him: Are you African? Me: No Him: Are you Haitian? Me: No Him: Are you Brazilian? Me: No Him: Dominican? Me: I’m American Him: Afro… American?
With every negative response I supplied him, he grew more and more confused. We sat down and I explained to him that I’m American, yes, African-American. He then asks where my parents are from. I said America so he proceeds to ask about my grandparents. Yup they’re American too. I explained that at least 4 or 5 generations of my parents are all American. But of course he follows that with “So where in Africa is your family originally from” I said to be honest I couldn’t tell you. (I spared him the details of the Transatlantic Slave Trade, a little to heavy for me after work and over coffee at the cafe.)
Finally, it was my turn to ask the questions. I found out that he was a Serbian living in Germany named Nicola. (It sounds really sexy when says it, compared to how it looks on the screen. ) Then I asked why he ignored me when I greeted him in the travel agency. His response was that it is atypical for Germans to speak to people they don’t know. “But you’re not German”, I say. And he gives me a sly smile. He went on about how he doesn’t like German women, because they’re “hearts are cold” and his people i.e. the Serbs (is that even politically correct –the Serbs) are not like that.
I ordered a cappuccino and he ordered water. And then we start talking about race, and color, and interracial relationships. He said it was an uncommon thing in Germany, but I disagree. I see a lot of black, mostly African, women with white, European men. Additionally, Germany has a huge U.S. military population and a great percentage of military families are biracial especially ones living overseas. So I see a lot of biracial couples and children here in Germany. I have only seen one biracial couple where the woman was black here in Germany and the man was white.
I asked him if he had ever dated a black girl or an African girls to which he replied that he hadn’t but would like to. Adding that it’s not easy to meet them. I said for starters you can speak back, if they speak to you. He attempted to gauge my interest in dating white guys, I told him that I don’t discriminate.
He noticed the tattoo on my arm and touched it, asking if I had only one. Then he rubbed my arm and hand, stating that “It’s so nice…your skin is beautiful, not like mine”. As he’s rubbing his skin and rubbing mine trying to compare, I assure him that there really is no difference. But he rubbing, turned into a petting, so I removed my hand from the table. I’m nobody’s pet!
After paying for our beverages we left and began walking. He looked older but not too old, so I asked him his age. His response was, “How old do I look?” Everyone knows that that response really means “I’m older than I think you’ll care to entertain” OR “I’m younger than I want to share with you”. I knew it was the former and he finally told me that he was 40-years old. I told him my age, right before telling him that we needed to part ways. (I didn’t want him knowing where I lived, so I didn’t want to get too close to my house/neighborhood). He asked for my number and I obliged but giving him the spelling of my name was a chore. I spelled it in English AND in German and finally he got it right but not before pointing to signs that contained the letters in my name. I guess I shouldn’t complain his English was way better than my German.
Of course he sent me a good morning text the following day, but managed to spell my name wrong. I’ll never understand why people insist on spelling your name wrong when they send you a Facebook message or an email at work when my name is clearly in the address. It’s annoying as hell.
Subscribe to my blog and click here for Part II, the follow-up meeting with the Serbian.
- Stuff white men say to black women (abagond.wordpress.com)
- Germans, 10 Things You Should Never Say to a Black Woman (blackgirlinberlin.com)
- The African identity (theiink.wordpress.com)
- The Largest Ancestry Groups In The United States (businessinsider.com)
- Raising biracial kids in 2013: The challenges and the opportunities for the African-American community (thegrio.com)
- Black Like Me: My Trip to Serbia (archive.oaklandlocal.com)
I won a free twist out hairstyle today. Great timing too because I wanted to blow dry my hair and wear a twist out on dry hair.
The night before I was scrolling thru my Instagram feed and saw this.
Nappstar is a natural hair salon. The owners and stylists of Nappstar are two sisters in Maryland. I had been to Nappstar several times before and was always happy with my results. So I called and got the 10am appointment.
They moved their salon to a new location a while ago were looking to find additional natural hair stylists to work with them in their salon. In order to evaluate the potential stylists’ abilities and skills, they issued a call for anyone with natural hair to be the test “dummies” for lack of a better word. I believe they had 4 female stylist to work on 4 ‘model clients’. Two clients had natural hair and the other two had locs. (I don’t like the term “dread” locs, so you won’t see/hear me use it too much). They rotated the stylists between twisting and styling the locs and natural hair clients to test their skills. My twist out was done in flat twists in a star pattern (think bicycle wheel with the spokes coming from the center).
The process for me from wash to twist out, including the blow dry and time spent under the dryer was about 2.5 hours. The outcome was decent and more importantly it was free. I will say that I would probably never go there for a twist out in general. Not because they wouldn’t do a good job, but typically I do my own twist outs and twist outs for me don’t last long enough for me to shell out that kind of cash for a very temporary style. But for anything else I’d definitely recommend these sisters.
I must admit that I have visited the Miss Jessie’s Salon in SoHo- New York City, and received a twist out. Maybe I’ll blog about that later. I will say I was very pleased with my results and it lasted at least two weeks. BUT the twist out at Miss Jessie’s was an individual two-strand twists that had great hold because of the product, causing the twist out to be super defined and long-lasting.
- Fashion Bomb 101: 5 Tips for Maintaining Phenomenal Natural Hair (fashionbombdaily.com)
- My Natural Hair Nightmare (girlsaboutlife.com)
- Twitter Assignment (jou300201.wordpress.com)
Shopping for beauty products is always a fun adventure. You go with one-thing in mind, and you leave with a whole bunch of awesomeness. I was in search for some new makeup brushes. Mainly for two reasons.
- I need more variety in my everyday brushes;
- I hate having to clean my brushes so often.
Depending on the brush cleaner I use, I’m not fond of the just cleansed brushes but on the flip side I don’t want week old makeup and grime being applied to my fresh face. Having more variety and options in my brushes will hopefully alleviate some of this.
This weekend I made a trip to Ulta. I picked up several things. The first is this brush set by Real Techniques, Limited Edition Duo Fiber Collection.
I’ve purchased a blush brush previously from Real Techniques, and although I like it a few short months later the brush came out of the handle. So I was a little disappointed. I’m going to give Real Techniques another try. This brush set purchased at $17.99.
After picking up the brushes I went over the skin care section. I’ve been a long time user of Dermalogica. But haven’t really used it in the recent past after running out of the products I used daily. Until the recent past, Dermalogica was only available from select spa’s or from the Dermalogica website. Ulta has carried the brand for a while now and it’s a great place to purchase the products.
In questioning the skin therapist at the store Salon about the best Dermalogica cleanser for my skin, I realized that she had been performing a professional skin service on a another client. Since Ulta was having a Dermalogica special, $20 dollars for a 20-minute service by the skin therapist on duty, I decided to book my appointment. My appointment was scheduled in 40-minutes. So I went to Old Navy and shopped while I waited for my appointment time.
When I returned we discussed my current skin regimen and what I was looking for. I got a mini-facial with full-cleansing, steam and slight extractions in a slightly private setting. Afterwards she recommended some products. Ulta also had a free-gift deal. A free gift of the Dermalogica Daily Microfoliant, Skin Hydrating Booster, and Multi-Active Toner, with any $65 Dermalogica purchase. Since I had paid $20 bucks for the facial, and would be purchasing a cleanser it wasn’t a big stretch to meet that $65 minimum.
I ended up purchasing the Active Moist, which is a moisturizer, the Skin Resurfacing Cleanser, and the Special Cleansing Gel in the smallest sizes.
I also picked up CLINIQUE’s moisturizing gel. I’ve used this for several years now and I like it. The thing with me is that I’m always looking or the perfect moisturizer. I’ve tried tens of lotions and creme’s and moisturizers and I try to change it up so my skin doesn’t get used to the same thing. I’ve tried CLINIQUE’s gel and lotion and I like the gel for the summer and the lotion for the winter.
I’m in the market for a new concealer. I tried a couple at Ulta but didn’t find any I was really crazy about. So the search is still on. I also decided to try a bronzer. I’ve tried a friend’s bronzer a while ago and thought about purchasing my own. So after sampling a few I decided to try the small size of LORAC’s Tantalizer Highlighter and Matte Bronzer Duo.
- Check Out This Awesome New Way to Dry Makeup Brushes! (storybookapothecary.com)
- How to Clean Your Makeup Brushes (healthbeauty76.wordpress.com)
- April Favorites! (You’re going to want to read this one) (dermlove.wordpress.com)
- April Favorites! (You’re going to want to read this one) (dermlove.wordpress.com)
For the last few months I’ve been itching to get my hair dyed. I was pretty set on getting my hair dyed a fierce red like Toni from MyNaturalSistas. I love that color on her and was looking forward to getting mine a similar hue. That was until I saw a beautiful natural hair girl with a really awesome shade of blond rocking a puff. That threw a monkey-wrench in my whole plan, because I couldn’t decide which color to choose.
I got the bright idea that I would do both colors, a subtle honey blond in the front/top and the fierce red in the back. I really thought this would be a great combination. After talking to a friend of mine I decided to go to the salon she frequents in the DMV to get my hair colored.
I read a bunch of reviews online before committing and making an appointment. And finally the day had come. I arrived at the salon and once I was seen I explained to the ‘junior colorist” what I wanted. She told me that the two colors I wanted didn’t go together according to the color wheel.
It’s been about a year to the day that I got my last color highlights applied to my hair. I have been itching to update my hair’s color with something really bold and fun for the spring and summer. So after discussing my hair color goals and desires with the stylist, we agreed on the final colors.
I took pictures during the whole process. She used three different colors on my hair. I have two different color highlights in the front and top of my hair. And a light brown in the back of my hair.
After sitting with the color on my hair for a little bit, it was rinsed out. She was excited and happy about how the color came out. She told me she would be toning all of my color down a bit, using a toner. And commented that it looked very much like the NFL football team the Washington Redskins’ team color, because of the reddish and goldish hues.
Anyway, consulting with the “senior colorist” they agreed to tone the color down just a bit which would also help the colors compliment each other better. After the final rinse she proceeded to blow dry my hair straight.
After it was dry she proceeded to flat iron it. I informed her that I wanted curls instead of wearing it straight. By this time I had already paid for my service which included the color ($90) and the style ($50). Because it was about 8pm and the receptionist was packing up to leave. I guess she realized that I was in need of trim and told me that she was going to just trim it. (Meaning that she wasn’t going to charge me for the trim). And assured me that she knew the difference between a trim and a cut.
I should have just objected because you can’t trust a lot of hair stylists with scissors in their hands. Many don’t know the difference between a cut and a trim. And since she’s not my normal hair stylist I was already a bit nervous about whether I’d leave there with a cut versus a true trim.
As I suspected, I saw strands longer than an inch falling to styling drape. At that point is already to late to right that wrong. Unless you want short and uneven hair. She finished the trim (ahem…I mean cut) and then tried to go back and even it all the way around. Now I knew I was screwed. She knew that I was taking photos of the whole process and because of that was worried that her work would be questioned if my strands weren’t perfectly even.
Granted, I needed a trim but my normal hair dresser does a great job of giving me an actual trim. And never again will I allow someone I’m not comfortable with to give me a trim. This may not be the best proof of how much was actually cut, since the left side is the result of a blow out on natural hair and the right is flat ironed and trimmed. But hopefully you see the difference.
I guess if what I wanted was color, I got it. But ultimately, it wasn’t the color I really wanted. I think she did a good job with the application of the color and highlights. And perhaps if I needed to I could return for future color processing. But I would save the styling and definitely any cutting for my trusted regular hair stylist.
Here are few shots of me and my new color:
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Color classification is a still a huge deal around the world and seen more prevalent in the African-American, Indian, and Asian communities. The color of one’s skin can be linked to social status in the community.
While many people of non-European decent typically think of their own culture as being plagued by the stereotypes and negative connotations associated with darker vs. lighter skin, the truth is you can find it in almost every culture or group of people.
The Indian community has long suffered from the caste system and connections to skin color. It’s still typical to see fairer skin Indians marry each other and darker skin Indians marry each other, than to see a darker and fairer skin Indian couple marry; it’s frowned upon by the couples’ families.
Additionally, many Asians, women in particular, invest in bleaching and lightening products to make their skin fairer or whiter. If you’ve ever spent time in any Asian country you’ll notice television commercials and advertisements cast with the lightest skin women.
In the African-American community, stereotypes continue to perpetuate the idea of lighter skin being better than darker skin. Just recently on an episode of VH1’s Love and Hip-Hop, the rapper Consequence defended his lyrics in a song referring to the skin tone of women.
Light skin is the right skin, so you, you, you and your white friend
Maybe lighter complected skin is most attractive to him, which is fine to have a preference but to say one is right denotes that anything else is not.
One of the problems I see is that this conversation seems to evoke a feeling of black or white. Not in the sense of African-American or Caucasian but in the sense of one extreme or the other. What happens if your skin tone falls somewhere in the middle? How should you be classified? I don’t think that in the black community light skin or dark skin are sufficient adjectives to describe the many shades and hues that we bless the world with. Chocolate, latte, mocha, caramel ..we’ve relegated our color to coffee flavors. I don’t think it’s a bad thing because you actually get a better understanding of a person’s hue with those descriptors.
Color and complexion distinctions are made clear for most during childhood years. Hollywood actress Gabrielle Union depicts an all too similar experience as a ‘brown girl’ growing up in her letter to her younger self displayed beautifully in the October 2012 issue of Ebony magazine. I read it when the issue was released and thought that it was so wonderfully and beautifully written that I cut it out, added it to my journal and was inspired to write my own letter to my younger self.
In the letter Union wrote:
Your deep Mahogany skin may not resemble that of the others in your family, but it’s just as gorgeous and you’re just as worthy….One day you’ll appreciate how much your brown skin shines in the moonlight, glistens in the sun and ages ever so slowly.
This resonating with me so strongly because I too had feelings of inferiority due to the images on television and personal experiences. As I got older I learned to accept and embrace my chocolateness. But those images that portray lighter skin as perpetually equaling beautiful still exist, so it becomes even more necessary to be confirmed in who you are, as to not compare yourself to anyone.
Through every example of skin tone revealed above and others not mentioned here, it is obvious to see that the underlying factor in the skin color debate is the lack of self-love and acceptance. No matter who you are, where you were born, how you were raised, every person has some complex with themselves that either they don’t like, want to change or are just not comfortable with. If you find the love for yourself from within, and don’t allow other people’s opinions or judgement to dictate your beauty, stereotypes will not be an issue for you.
Oprah’s OWN network recently aired a documentary entitled “Dark Girls” highlighting the degradation of darker skin [black] women. It depicts to a broad audience something that so many suffer from silently. I think it was pretty well done and honest. The documentary can be viewed here.
This upcoming January 2015 Oprah’s OWN network will be airing a follow-up to the Dark Girls documentary entitled Light Girls. I’m interested to see the juxtaposition of these two points of views. Here is the preview:
Now that Light Girls has aired, stay tuned for my thoughts on the similarities, differences and perception.
- India’s unfair fixation with fairness (indiaitblog.com)
- Light skin vs Dark Skin (nqubekosithole.wordpress.com)
- The Melanin Pigment (aiswaryabaskaran.wordpress.com)
- Chimamanda Adichie: ‘Dark-skinned girls are never the babes’ (independent.co.uk)
- “Light skin” vs “Dark skin”.. How we’ve already lost. (djwritingoutloud.wordpress.com)
When you think of Video Vixens you probably think of Karrine Steffans, Melyssa Ford, Buffy the Body. These women have made a name for themselves by being overtly sexy in music videos and men’s magazines. Although these women commonly call themselves models, many will beg to differ. Yes they model, but when compared to more mainstream models, what are these ladies actually modeling. They typically don minimum amounts of clothing or skin-tight fabrics that leave little to the imagination.
An obvious difference in a Heidi Klum compared to a Melyssa Ford is the body type. Video vixens are systematically chosen by their curves and voluptuous bodies. Runway and print models are chosen for their bodies as well but the criteria is much different, primarily the best canvas to show off the item of clothing or jewelry being advertised or promoted. Many video models are gyrating or posing in such a way that you can barely see the clothing. So what are they advertising?
Sex, at least in most cases. Grant it, Heidi doing the same pose as Buffy the Body and in the same bathing suit would be much less overtly sexy. But my point is, if you name a woman at the top of her game in each category, Runway or Print and Urban or Video, you have to ask what is each model most synonymous with? For Runway or Print you may say a particular fashion designer or brand. So for someone like Adriana Lima you may think Victoria Secret or Guess? or for Naomi Campbell you may think high fashion or Vogue magazines. But when you think of Esther Baxter or Melyssa Ford what do you think of? Do you think of a particular hip-hop artist or rapper, or do you think of a particular men’s magazine or do you think sexy poses and lingerie?
As a woman if I’m looking to purchase a new bathing suit or lingerie, I’d probably check the latest Victoria Secret catalog before I’d check King or XXL magazine.
Of course you want some level of physical attraction when choosing a model for anything. And I imagine Nelly chooses more curvy models for his Apple Bottom line because its the best canvas for his clothing line. But should Melyssa be able to call herself a model in the same fashion as Heidi Klum or Tyra Banks.
Do you agree?
Like, Comment, and Subscribe.
- Video Vixen (godivasofsl.wordpress.com)
- Panties Aren’t the Problem: Talking to Your Kids About Sex (blackamericaweb.com)
- The 25 Hottest Urban Models to Follow on Instagram (complex.com)
- Strike a Pose.. and fall into a scam… (allthatsprincess.wordpress.com)
In April 2012 , about a year ago, I got my hair highlighted. I went to a beauty school and was really pleased with the turnout
In this picture, taken about 8 months after it had been highlighted, you can see my hair straightened and some of my highlights.
Here’s a better view of my hair from September 2012 (about 5 months after I got it highlighted), This is the work of my main hair stylist. The before picture on the left is my hair freshly washed, the middle picture is blown dry and the last is a shot of the left side of my hair flat ironed.
I must note that I didn’t experience any damage or breakage due to the color and my hair was lightened without the use of bleach.
Why go to a beginner or someone learning how to perform such a permanent process?
Some might say “Why go to a beginner or someone learning how to perform such a permanent process? But my reasoning was that there is a skilled instructor overseeing the whole process. Someone who’s job it is to teach the proper technique to eager students. The trainer for my student stylist oversaw the process and and I felt that my stylist was pretty confident. So as previously stated I was happy with the outcome and the price and didn’t have any complaints.
- Hair salon secrets to save you big money (abclocal.go.com)
- What’s wrong with a little color? (blackgirlnerdy.blogspot.com)
- Highlights are one of the most difficult hair colors to master (elisemarcussalon.com)
Okay so I’m super excited I finally got a chance to get to Sephora to stock up on some of my favorite products. I took my time and went through each aisle. And it’s a good thing I did instead of just picking up my “go-to-items” because I got some great finds. Here’s a shot of most of what I picked up.
So one of my favorite foundations is Makeup Forever’s (MUFE) Duo Mat. It helps keep my T-zone shine and oil-free throughout the day. Thanks to a tip I received from Erin at Scandalous Beauty via Twitter. Imagine my surprise when I was informed by the Sephora representative that Duo Mat had been discontinued and MUFE had launched their Pro Finish as a replacement. She helped me try on two shades of the Pro Finish and I ended up purchasing one to try it out at home. Maybe I’ll do a comparison to the Duo Mat in the future. (NOTE: If you like the Duo Mat you can still purchase most shades at Sephora.com).
I had received a sample version of the Laura Mercier Tinted Moisturizer months ago, but since it wasn’t my shade and I had read a good review on it, I decided to purchase it. Wow $43 bucks is a heck of a lot for a moisturizer, but if I don’t like it I’ll gladly return it.
The only thing that I purchased from Sephora this time that wasn’t new to me was my BELOVED Stila eyeliner in Stingray. I love it! It goes on easy and lasts.
More importantly, I found this awesome little kit that Every woman needs to have in their purse and/or car. It contains everything you could need without taking up much space. I got it for $13 and it’s called the MINIMERGENCY Kit and the 17 contents are listed below.
- a bandage
- safety pin
- earring backs
- deodorant towelettes
- nail polish remover pad
- stain remover
- clear hair elastics
- lip balm
- emory board
- hair spray
- clear nail polish
- dental floss
- mending kit
- breath freshener
- double-sided tape
- pain reliever
The only thing it is missing is a condom, but then again, there is room for that too. It’s pretty awesome and I may go back and get a second one so I’ll have one for my car and one for my purse.